It was new, it was exciting, I was terrified. I had never started a business before. I didn’t know what needed to be done and really I didn’t much know where to even start. I was so clueless about how to make this business a success that I didn’t even set a budget for the family, or even consider one. The uncertainty I was facing caused crippling fear that I refused to admit to. Instead of admitting to the fear and facing it, I decided that it would be better to embrace the uncertainty and ride the wave to see where it went. While this was probably not the “correct” choice, my family continued to eat, it got tight, but the bills got paid. At the time I considered the family/work balance to be pretty even. I felt like it was going ok.
Looking back, my fear of setting any sort of real goal for my business probably hindered my growth and financial gains over the first year or so, but at least I hadn’t failed! If you don’t have any real goals, failure is not really an option. I did a sneak and patted myself on the back for being and surviving as opposed to accomplishing any goals.
I lauded myself for moving to be back with family, for taking a risk, for the good things I did in the life that I left. I could look back and see that I had done good things. Unfortunately, in all that looking back, I wasn’t looking forward.
Setting goals and challenging myself is what got me through the toughest time in my life. When Carson passed, the thing that kept me from self medication and abuse was setting up goals and knocking them down. I took the feelings and emotions and put that energy into making myself a better dad, person, athlete. This time was different because I forgot that my best coping comes from giving myself direction and challenging myself. It was time to turn around and change my perspective.
I decided that it was time to challenge myself. I set financial goals for my business. I set personal goals to spend quality time with my family. It was time to become a person who was striving to better himself and his family again.
Since I decided that fear of failure was no longer going to rule me and hold me back, I have gotten back to doing things that I love and develop me as a better, father, husband, person, Christian, or better anything else. I have a couple races back on the schedule, I am writing, I am back to more time serving, I am taking care of my nutrition better, I feel better, and I think most of all, I feel like I have things to be proud of again.
So push yourself, challenge yourself, leave something behind that doesn’t serve you, do things that make you proud and don’t be afraid.
Setting goals and challenging myself is what got me through the toughest time in my life. When Carson passed, the thing that kept me from self medication and abuse was setting up goals and knocking them down. I took the feelings and emotions and put that energy into making myself a better dad, person, athlete. This time was different because I forgot that my best coping comes from giving myself direction and challenging myself. It was time to turn around and change my perspective.
I decided that it was time to challenge myself. I set financial goals for my business. I set personal goals to spend quality time with my family. It was time to become a person who was striving to better himself and his family again.
Since I decided that fear of failure was no longer going to rule me and hold me back, I have gotten back to doing things that I love and develop me as a better, father, husband, person, Christian, or better anything else. I have a couple races back on the schedule, I am writing, I am back to more time serving, I am taking care of my nutrition better, I feel better, and I think most of all, I feel like I have things to be proud of again.
So push yourself, challenge yourself, leave something behind that doesn’t serve you, do things that make you proud and don’t be afraid.
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