Our Love is Enough

It has been a while.  I apologize.

It has been long weeks and I needed to recoup and find my stability again.  November 25th is Carson's birthday.  We headed to spend time with friends and family as we celebrated.  The following day was Thanksgiving.  Our first Thanksgiving without him.  Then on December 1st was my 30th birthday and December 3rd was my Grandmother's birthday as well as my son's birthday, so it has been heavy lately.

I can not remember a time, where leading up to birthdays and a holiday that I felt so deflated.  I was prepped and ready to go deer hunting, but could not get excited, we were going pheasant hunting, but could not get excited.  As time has moved forward, the initial surface level pain has subsided, but it has moved deeper.  No longer is it a searing pain, but it is an inner ache that is relentless.

What we will never understand, as parents of angels is that OUR LOVE IS ENOUGH.  Our love has to be enough, because that is all that we have.  We spend time wondering what we could have done to make things different.  We spend time trying to justify why it happened and try to give it a reason.  Stop it.  OUR LOVE IS ENOUGH.

I am realizing that every day, I have to remind myself that no amount of sweat, no amount of muscle pain, no amount of training is going to bring my Carson back.  It is also not going to make him or my family any more or less proud of me.  OUR LOVE IS ENOUGH.

Every time you feel like you are letting down your angel and you feel like you are the only one who remembers and you feel alone, Team Crusher wants you to know that you are not alone.  We remember.  Most importantly you have to know that OUR LOVE IS ENOUGH.

Please head over to www.teamcrusher.com and see what we are up to.  Submit your child's name to go on the bike, submit your form to be an athlete.  We can't wait to have you.