Familiar But Foreign

Swim, that's all you have to do.  It is no different than any other swim work out you have done.  I was psyching myself up to hit the 50 meter pool as opposed to the 25 yard pool I have been swimming in through the winter and spring.  It's not a big deal, it is outside, so that is different.  Overall, there will be water, lane lines and probably other people swimming.  That is about it.

I hit the water, it felt familiar, but entirely foreign.  I have never worked out in an outdoor 50 meter pool before.  I tried to get mentally ready, but when my times were much slower in this pool vs my regular pool, it hit me right in the confidence.  I tried to justify it and couldn't.  I was in such a frustrated state attempting to justify why my 100 was so much slower, I forgot meters are about 10% longer than yards.  So yes, it was fine that my times were a little slower.  It's all good!

It got me thinking about how I handle my grief at different times, in different situations.  I can psych myself up, make a plan, know exactly how everything is going to go and then BANG! Something happens that isn't quite what I expected and I feel like a totally lost child in a maze of people.  Sometimes we can be so sure of how we are going to handle something and then there is a smell, or a song, or our brains insert a missed giggle here or there.  It doesn't take much and all of a sudden whatever is happening is not what we expected.  Sometimes we handle it, sometimes we freeze, sometimes we lash out in anger.  There are oodles of ways that we can react, the challenge is trying to make sure it is a healthy response to what is happening.

A healthy response is what we strive for.  It is healthy to emote, it is healthy to need a little time, it is healthy to cope through a hobby or prayer or physical fitness.  Self medication or abuse is not healthy.  Sleeping for days on end or seclusion are not healthy.  Developing a relationship with Christ is the best way to start responding in a healthy way.  Christ has plans for us and can see a picture so big that we can't even comprehend it.  When you can lean on Christ, you don't have to try to lean on people that will sometimes be there for you and sometimes won't.  If you are counting on a person to cope for you, or even someone that you become codependent with, you are coping in an unhealthy way.  What happens when that person wears out or something happens and they get injured or move away?  Christ is permanent, He is not going anywhere.

So when you get into a new situation, a new pool.  When things are familiar, but not the same. What are you going to do?  What is going to happen next?  Are you going to choose to respond in a healthy way?  Yes, with the help of Jesus.  Find someone who knows Jesus or simply pick up your bible and start reading in the middle somewhere.  Meet Him.  Yell at Him. Talk to Him.  Love Him.  Hate Him.  Scream, Cuss, Cry to Him.  He can handle it and you won't be the first to do any of that.