Gratitude, Intentionality and Role Models

My children are constant reminders to me that no matter what I am doing, no matter where I am, someone is watching.  Some are watching and looking up to us and some are watching to look down.  Either way, we are all setting examples all the time.  The past couple weeks, I have really focused on me.  Not the selfish Ironman training way, but the becoming a better person way.

On this journey to a new way of being, I have been intentional about what I am doing.  I have tried to be intentional about my use of time and about being grateful.  For example, at work, whatever project I am working on, I have blocked out a set amount of time and have only worked on that project during that time.  I try not to let my mind wander, but focus entirely on the task at hand.   I have been able to get more done faster!  I do the same things at home, but with family, I try to block out everything that isn't them.  I try to ignore my phone, be engaged, be present and be patient.  My thoughts don't center around everything else I have to do, I know that the time for that will come.  Being planned out and intentional has freed me up so much, I get to spend some time blogging!

I know that I am going to be an example on the good days and the kids will learn how I handle good days.  I will be a role model on bad days as well and the kids will learn how I react when things aren't going well.  I want my family to know that it is ok to be excited, it is ok to feel happy, it is ok to feel sad, to feel angry or hurt, but flying off the handle rarely gets anything done and rarely resolves a situation.  So I try to model an almost stoic being.  I look up to people who have an air of patience and stoicism about them.  When they respond to situations it is with patience and a calculated thoughtfulness.  I feel like they are wise and I want my kids to view me as wise, so I try to model that for them the best I can.

Chances are when my kids are doing ridiculous things that I don't like, they probably learned it from me or my wife.  When my boys think they are being funny and then take it too far, that is my teaching by far!  When the kids accidentally say a swear word, chances are it was their mother who taught them that. (wink)  But good or bad, they learned it somewhere and it was probably us!

I talk a lot about my kids, but that is not the only people you are an example for.  When you run into people who know your story, many times you will hear, "I can't believe how good they are doing" or "yeah, life is really hard for them, I can't imagine".  These are things that people say when they are looking to you as an example.  You can be someone's hope or you can be someone's bleak outlook.

I strive to be a grateful example.  I choose to live in gratitude.  I choose to say thank you for everything.  I choose to find joy despite things not going my way sometimes.  I choose to have good days, even on bad days.  I choose to live as if I am always doing ok.  I assure you that I am not always doing ok.  I have found that intentionally being grateful has a profound impact on the way I act and things I do.  I went on a complaining fast.  Every time I started to complain, I had to state 5 things I was thankful for.  I started with just a week, but after that, I just kept cruising!  It felt so much better to not be complaining!

There are certain emotions that accompany complaining.  Those emotions are quickly shut out when you jump straight into gratitude.  It is hard to be crabby and sarcastic and gross when you are saying thanks for at least 5 things.  Emotions and venting have a time and place, and part of the battle that we face every day is knowing when and where that needs to and is safe to happen.  Setting an example is something that you are going to do no matter what.  It is up to you what kind of example you set.  you can set an example that allows people to look down or you can set an example that people look up to.  You can be someone that people respect.

I choose to be a good example, a gracious example, a respectful example and a positive example.

Pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on you.