How Do You New Year?

I want to talk a little this week about how I did the new year, and how I rang it in.

So this year, I wanted to reflect on 2016 and how it changed me as a person.  2015 was a big change with the loss of Carson, but I really wanted to dig deep into what was different about this year other than just grief.  It can be very easy for grief to be the focus, but it doesn't have to be.

So I kind of did a self interview.  And I will leave it here for you to see.

1. Looking back at 2016, what were the biggest moments of the year?

When I look back, it would be easy to say that we are PROUD of what we have accomplished this year.  I am not sure that is why I accomplished anything in 2016 though.  No need for a sense of pride in the things, but in what they represented.  Most of my moments that stick out are focused around training for and running for Team Crusher.  I had 63 names on my bike when I rode.  Looking at my training, I rode just over 1500 miles in 2016.  I had a little over 2,200 miles of training between the three disciplines.  2,200 miles of remembering, 2,200 miles of praying, and 2,200 miles completely devoted to something way bigger than me.  I am proud that Team Crusher can represent the people it does.  I am proud that in 140.6 miles, people remembered a child gone too soon.  I am proud that I cried at the start line (it was in the water, so nobody noticed), I am proud that, even though I was a little past due, my family and I cried together at the finish line.  None of us were even thinking about me.  That is why it was so perfect.  I am proud that 2016 was a year of memorial and honor for those families represented by Team Crusher.

2. If you ran into you from January 1, 2016, what would you tell yourself?

I would tell myself to remember what is important.  There were plenty of times that I let training get in the way of what should have had my focus on that day.  There were times that I let connecting with my Carson take precedent over connecting with the rest of my children.  At 4:30 in the morning, nobody seems to care what I am doing.  At 4:30 in the afternoon, I miss family time.  It is important to take time for you, but you also have to figure the cost of your "me time".  I have gotten pretty good at early mornings.  I guess I would also tell myself that being a morning person isn't so bad.

3. What did you miss out on?

I don't feel like I missed out on a ton of things, but there were things that definitely fell by the wayside because we were super busy as a family and training was part of that.  The boys didn't play baseball this year, partially because we were late hearing about sign ups, but also because we were super busy trying to get everything done.  I let down my kids to a certain extent because I was putting so much focus into being an Ironman.

4. Did you have a motto or mantra in 2016 that helped you? Do you have one for 2017?

Last year I kept hearing my name at the finish line.  I guess my mantra was "John Butler, you are an Ironman!"  I never actually heard it, but I made it so that is far more important to me.  This year I definitely do have a new mantra.  "Pray like it depends on God and Work like it depends on you."  It speaks to me because I can't do it with out Him.  I can put in all the work in the world, but without Him, it is both meaningless and fruitless.  If racing and such was for only me, it would not matter.  I race to glorify God and remember His angels, that is what I want people to see when I run by.

5. What are some of your goals for this year?

I have tons of goals, that has been one of my lessons this last year is that setting up goals and knocking them down is like candy to me, I just can't get enough!

One of my goals is to connect with a family once a week who has lost a child recently.  Unfortunately, there are families every day who join the club.  I just want to make sure they know that someone is thinking about them.

I am going to run faster.  That one is pretty straight forward.

I am going to be a better servant to my family and my wife, they sacrificed a lot this last year and I need to set a better example.

I am going to blog weekly this year as well.  I am thinking that instead of blogging when the feels get me, I should blog weekly and maybe when I get the feels it can be more special instead of simply always being a tear jerking blog.

Well, that is how I reflected on 2016.  Let's see where 2017 takes us and what it looks like!  Should be an adventure.  Until next week, Pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on you!