I made a decision. I decided that yes... I race for Carson, but not for him alone. I want to race for as many families that have lost children as I can. I want to race for parents who lost a child. It does not matter what age they were when they departed. I want to race for you.
As parents who have lost, our lives can be very tough at times. You know, good days and bad days and whatever else. I want to give you a chance to let your child be remembered and prayed for by someone else.
I am asking that you would send me a letter with your story and a picture of your child. I would then like to put your child's name on my bike while I train and race. My goal is to cover my whole bike, my tri suit, my helmet, everywhere I can with names of kids. You are welcome to send donations to help me train and race, but my real goal is to race for your child. I would love to hear from you.
I don't only want your story and pictures though, I want to make sure you know that when I have that, I would like to pray for your family. I will take time on my rides and time on my runs and time on my swims and time on my knees for you. Sometimes it is hard to see where God is at in all of the terrible that comes with loss, but he is there. I promise.
If this is something that you would like to be a part of, email me at thedadwhodads@gmail.com and I will send you my address for your story, pictures and donations.
Also Check out my video blogs at Dadding As Hard As I Can on YouTube.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
I Must Be Crazy
I said it. I must be crazy, because we registered for an Ironman race. I can't express what this race means to me in words in one blog, so I will keep you up to date about what it means as we go. As I have said before, I race for Carson. My son. My angel. My motivation. My heartbeat. My reason. I train, I race, I recover, I train some more and I race again all because I need him to stay alive. I need him to be part of my life. This is how that happens.
On August 7, we will run an Ironman 140.6 in Boulder, CO. You may not know what an Ironman is, so let me enlighten you. We will start off the day swimming 2.4 miles, yeah, in the water. We will get out of the water and go grab my bike. We will then pedal my bike 112 miles. There will be hills and though I might want to quit and I might get tired, Carson will keep me strong. When we get back from our bike ride, we will strap on our running shoes and go for a little run. Daintily we will run a marathon. 26.2 miles. I will really want to quit at this point. There will be points on the run where I hurt so bad that I think I can't make it. That is when I will beg Carson for the use of his wings. I know that he will lift me by the heart and keep me on my feet.
Some folks might question my readiness or whatever they want to question, but I will tell you how I know that we are going to do this. When I can't sleep, when I lie awake in bed and just can't clear my head, many people will watch a movie, read a book, count sheep or whatever. I walk quietly to the living room and sit in my chair. I grab my computer and I log in to Youtube. I pull up the Ironman racing channel and I watch Ironman videos. I have seen all of them more times than is probably healthy. That, however, is not where it ends. As people finish, I cry. I weep knowing that the only way for my son to accomplish this feat is for me to take him on the journey. And I will do just that.
I told my wife last week that I wanted to do this. It should not be a big deal to tell the woman I love that I want to run a race, but I had to fight back tears to a level that I have not fought them before. I could barely get the words out.
I know that this is the only things that will fulfill my need to keep Carson with me. I can sleep on his pillows and wrap up in his blankets and snuggle his stuffed animals, but that will not make him proud of his dad. That will not let his siblings know that when bad things happen, they can't stop us if we don't let them. I pray every day that my kids know why I am on the journey I am on. I tell them, but I hope they get it. I hope it clicks for them.
I look forward to posting blogs and getting VLOGS up on youtube as well. When you read this blog or watch a video on Youtube, I would ask that you say a prayer for my son and our family. We appreciate the support.
On August 7, we will run an Ironman 140.6 in Boulder, CO. You may not know what an Ironman is, so let me enlighten you. We will start off the day swimming 2.4 miles, yeah, in the water. We will get out of the water and go grab my bike. We will then pedal my bike 112 miles. There will be hills and though I might want to quit and I might get tired, Carson will keep me strong. When we get back from our bike ride, we will strap on our running shoes and go for a little run. Daintily we will run a marathon. 26.2 miles. I will really want to quit at this point. There will be points on the run where I hurt so bad that I think I can't make it. That is when I will beg Carson for the use of his wings. I know that he will lift me by the heart and keep me on my feet.
Some folks might question my readiness or whatever they want to question, but I will tell you how I know that we are going to do this. When I can't sleep, when I lie awake in bed and just can't clear my head, many people will watch a movie, read a book, count sheep or whatever. I walk quietly to the living room and sit in my chair. I grab my computer and I log in to Youtube. I pull up the Ironman racing channel and I watch Ironman videos. I have seen all of them more times than is probably healthy. That, however, is not where it ends. As people finish, I cry. I weep knowing that the only way for my son to accomplish this feat is for me to take him on the journey. And I will do just that.
I told my wife last week that I wanted to do this. It should not be a big deal to tell the woman I love that I want to run a race, but I had to fight back tears to a level that I have not fought them before. I could barely get the words out.
I know that this is the only things that will fulfill my need to keep Carson with me. I can sleep on his pillows and wrap up in his blankets and snuggle his stuffed animals, but that will not make him proud of his dad. That will not let his siblings know that when bad things happen, they can't stop us if we don't let them. I pray every day that my kids know why I am on the journey I am on. I tell them, but I hope they get it. I hope it clicks for them.
I look forward to posting blogs and getting VLOGS up on youtube as well. When you read this blog or watch a video on Youtube, I would ask that you say a prayer for my son and our family. We appreciate the support.
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